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CHOICE SHOULD BE THE BEST CHOICE

A youth once came to me along with his newly married wife. He said to me: “We are about to begin our married life. Please give us some advice.” I said my advice for both of you is one, that is, each of you should believe that ‘my choice is the best choice. It was not possible for me to find a choice better than this one.’ Then I said: “Don’t take this as poetic advice. Instead, this advice is based on the law of nature.” It is a fact that the law of nature is the only deciding factor in every aspect of life.

There is a verse in the Qur’an in the chapter Al-Tin (The Fig) regarding creation. It says: We have indeed created man in the best of mold. (95:4).

This means that every man and woman is the best creation. Every woman is Ms. Best and every man is Mr. Best. This is the reason why every married couple should believe in advance that the life partner they have got would certainly be the best partner. People generally form an opinion based on face value.

An opinion made at face value is never correct. Then, why is it that many marriages fail, and in those marriages that do not fail the couple thinks that they have made a wrong choice in their selection of life partner? It is true that marriages often fail, but the reason is certainly not the making of the wrong choice, rather the reason is wrong behavior. The husband and wife who have come together through marriage are potentially best partners for each other. But, to turn this potential into actuality always is the task of the man and woman themselves. If you follow the principle of nature in this matter, your marriage will surely be a successful marriage. If you do not follow this principle of nature your marriage will be doomed to failure.

What is that principle of nature? It is an adjustment. This principle has been mentioned in the Qur’an in these words: Assulh Khair. That is, “Reconciliation is the best.” (4:128) Whether it is married life or any other kind of life, in every case a person can adopt two possible kinds of approach: the conciliatory approach and the non-conciliatory approach. The conciliatory approach is in accordance with the law of nature, so it always works. While the non-conciliatory approach is not in accordance with the law of nature. That is why it will never work, neither in married life nor in any other kind of life. People generally form an opinion based on face value. An opinion made at face value is never correct. In married life, people form an opinion simply at face value. But the whole issue is one of thinking. If you think deeply, you will discover that the choice you have made for marriage is indeed the right choice or the best choice.

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